when you're ready, come into the light
by moriartsy
Summary: Jimmy Novak was an ordinary man. He never thought he would be meant for this. But he was.


_a/n: this makes no sense. i'm sorry, i'm just... crying after watching 'the rapture'..._

* * *

_WHEN YOU'RE READY, COME INTO THE LIGHT_

_a supernatural fanfiction_

* * *

Roger wouldn't stop asking him if he was okay.

The worst thing in the world, he thought, was knowing that everyone you love thinks you're crazy.

The way Amelia looked at him when he started talking about Castiel, the way she hid Claire from him like he was _dangerous_… he couldn't imagine anything worse.

She tried to make him take pills and see doctors. He tried to make her believe he wasn't crazy. He tried to believe it himself.

Castiel was the only one who believed him, had faith in him. And hell if he didn't see the irony there.

* * *

He thought he was going crazy, until he put his arm in a pot of boiling water. That, ironically, was what convinced him that he wasn't losing his mind.

(Maybe 'convinced' wasn't the right word, because he still recognized how insane it sounded.)

But it felt so _real_. Too real to not be.

He was just an ordinary man. He loved God and family and good food. He never would have thought that he was meant - no, _destined_ - for something like this.

But, somehow, he was. And he couldn't change that, and he didn't think he wanted to.

* * *

It was impossible to describe what an angel truly looked like.

You didn't see an angel with your eyes; you saw it with your soul. An angel's voice was not heard with your ears, it just filled you completely until you understood. The five senses simply cannot perceive an angel (and the mere attempt could destroy them).

He knew what happened to Pamela when Castiel revealed himself, and he knew Dean nearly had a similar experience when Castiel spoke to him. He didn't know why he could 'see' Castiel or 'hear' his voice. He didn't know why he was special.

* * *

_Castiel_. That was the angel's name, the angel inside of him.

It was like being chained to a comet. His body could barely contain it, the pure energy, the massive force being exerted on every inch of his skin.

He wasn't conscious for most of it, probably because that wasn't possible. But there were moments now and then when he woke and felt Castiel there with him.

He imagined demon possession felt similar, except that was probably a suffocating blackness, whereas this was more of a light so bright his body threatened to implode.

It scalded him. It consumed him.

* * *

Castiel occasionally spoke to him while they were cohabiting.

The angel would tell him things like _Your family is coping well,_ or _Roger got that promotion he was hoping for._

Other times, he would say_ I know it hurts,_ or _I'm sorry._

Sometimes he tried to encourage his vessel, saying _You're doing well,_ or _It won't be this bad forever._

He liked Castiel. Castiel was kind and faithful.

Castiel liked him, too. He was a good vessel; he only complained rarely; he was God-fearing.

But he was also growing weary.

_I'm sorry_, Castiel would say.

_I know,_ he would reply.

* * *

He wasn't sure what he thought of Dean Winchester, but Castiel quite liked Dean, and if he was giving his body to Castiel as a vessel, he supposed there wasn't much he could do to change that.

Dean had no faith, not in anyone; sometimes, not even in Castiel. But the man had a good heart; he could admit that. He wasn't blind.

Sam had a good heart, too, although he was even _less_ sure about Sam than he was about Dean.

That was the thing about humans, he thought. They all had good hearts. They just made mistakes sometimes.

* * *

The apocalypse is coming, and he, Castiel, Dean, and Sam can help stop it. Maybe.

There are days when he feels his body being dragged around by a comet, sees that Castiel's efforts haven't helped anything, and thinks that maybe the world would be better off if it just ended.

Then there are days when he sees the brothers laughing together and he thinks, _Everyone deserves that. Everyone deserves life and love and family._

So after Sam has drunk blood and Claire has been possessed, he lets Castiel take him, so that together they can save the world for everyone.

* * *

_a/n: u_u jimmy novak u_u_

_i think each little thing is exactly 100 words? should be anyway. so. hope you like it. kiss kiss._


End file.
